Tag: humor

Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent....

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy....

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on....

Speak in French when you can’t think of the English for a thing–turn your toes out when you walk—And remember who you are!...

When I buy a new book, I always read the last page first, that way in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side....

I died. I died and someone made a clerical error and I am in Heaven....

I’m not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it’s Shakespeare who says that it’s always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead...

I want to do it too!” (sitting motionless)Nudge: “Nope, you stand out like a fart in a church.”Max: (muttering) “Appropriately enough.”Iggy: “What about me?” (stands still)Max: “No, you’re visible.”Iggy: “Am not!”Max: (throws a pinecone at him) “Could I do that if...

You leave me tied up like a dog? Then you had better remember that this bitch bites!...

I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible....