Tag: humor

Humor is what happens when we’re told the truth quicker and more directly than we’re used to....

To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan and not quite enough time....

If I shot an arrow and thought about an ass, would it surprise you if it hit Erik?...

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night....

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain....

As for monkeys, I would have five, and they would be named: See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, Do Pretty Much Whatever The Hell You Want, and Expensive Attorney....

I have never voted in my life… I have always known and understood that the idiots are in a majority so it’s certain they will win....

You fuck – you ate my cat!...

I try to avoid having thoughts. They lead to other thoughts, and—if you’re not careful—those lead to actions. Actions make you tired. I have this on rather good authority from someone who once read it in a book....

Life is like a box of chocolates....