Tag: humor

She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy, when the so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.-Artemis Fowl...

To paraphrase Oedipus, Hamlet, Lear, and all those guys, “I wish I had known this some time ago....

What would a racist call werewolves? Wargs? She kind of liked that one, but suspected that racist bastards didn’t read Tolkien....

It’s awful to be rich and mind-boggingly handsome and have women fawn over you. My heart bleeds for you. Poor dear, how do you manage?...

It’s good to be here. I’m just trying to go through life without looking stupid. It’s not working out too well....

And there was that poor sucker Flaubert rolling around on his floor for three days looking for the right word....

Get me outa here. F*ckin’ creepy cheerleaders....

I was never really certain why he scared the bejesus out of me. Nothing scared me growing up. I’ve been playing with dead people since the day I was born, so it’s good thing, yet the Big Bad scared me. Which...

I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter how your husband squeezes the toothpaste, the important thing is how he squeezes you....

He was dressed just like on TV, with lots of silver chains and bracelets, ripped jeans, and a black muscle shirt (Which was kind of stupid, since he didn’t have any muscles)....