Tag: humor

I’ve always thought people would find a lot more pleasure in their routines if they burst into song at significant moments....

I should never be left alone with my mind for too long....

Did you ever want to set someone’s head on fire, just to see what it looked like? Did you ever stand in the street and think to yourself, I could make that nun go blind just by giving her a kiss?...

FEAR stands for fuck everything and run....

If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody come sit next to me....

This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you....

Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings....

We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail....

You know what the fellow said – in Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five...

If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little....