Tag: humor

Every ounce of my cynicism is supported by historical precedent....

That’s not a bad word…hate and war are bad words, but fuck isn’t....

I tried to contain myself… but I escaped!...

Life makes fools of all of us sooner or later. But keep your sense of humor and you’ll at least be able to take your humiliations with some measure of grace. In the end, you know, its our own expectations that...

Progress just means bad things happen faster....

If one has no sense of humor, one is in trouble....

My formula for life is very simple: in the morning, wake up; at night, go to sleep. In between I try and occupy myself as best I can....

That woman doesn’t have the sense God gave a retarded flea....

Life doesn’t make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy’s job is to point out that it doesn’t make sense, and that it doesn’t make much difference anyway....

I had a dream about you. You were an escalator, and I was a flight of stairs. You thought I was a Luddite, and I thought I was as ostrich, because I hadn’t figured out how to put the fly in...