Tag: humor

God, if you ever loved me, open my eyes for me when I’m being this stupid! (Ron)...

Whew! You two are blowing hotter air than a tornado circlin’ a volcano in Hades....

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself-like, for instance, he can’t find any clean socks....

Who brings baby pictures on an international flight?” I hissed. “If I’d wanted my bare ass paraded in front of all the first-class ticket holders I’d have mooned everyone before we took off!...

Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There’s a frood who really knows where his towel is.”(Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)...

I’m not bossy – I just happen to be more capable than most everyone else....

Harry, we saw Uranus up close!” said Ron, still giggling feebly. “Get it, Harry? We saw Uranus — ha ha ha —...

Oh, Eeyore, you are wet!” said Piglet, feeling him. Eeyore shook himself, and asked somebody to explain to Piglet what happened when you had been inside a river for quite a long time....

[Calvin, who has the chicken pox, calls Susie on the telephone.] Susie: Hello? Calvin: Hi, Susie! It’s me, Calvin! I was wondering if you’d like to come over and play. Susie: Why, sure! Boy, I don’t think you’ve ever invited me...

Psychotics, say what you want about them, tend to make the first move....