Tag: humor

They said I was a valued customer, now they send me hate mail....

It took a qualified wizard to detect a summoning in progress. It required only a half-literate idiot with a twitch of power and a dim idea of how to use it to attempt one. Before you knew it, a three-headed Slavonic...

Look, Laszlo. I’ll have the dentist with me, and I don’t want to alarm her any more than necessary. So take Vanna out of the backseat and stick her in the trunk.”Shanna halted. Her mouth dropped open. Her throat seized up,...

And Daniel?” She asked.”Daniel was a player-“”Hey!” “That’s what they called the actors.” Bill rolled his eyes....

Bursar?””Yes, Archchancellor?””You ain’t a member of some secret society or somethin’, are you?””Me? No, Archchancellor.””Then it’d be a damn good idea to take your underpants off your head....

Oh, Hazel is awesome,” Don Said. “She’s so nice! All the other campers are like ‘Go away Don.’ But she’s like ‘Please go away, Don.’ I love her!...

And what have I done?” What? WHAT?…You’ve stolen them.” With that, Cornelia fled, but Buttercup understood; she knew who “them” was. The boys. The beef-witted featherbrained rattledskulled clodpated dim-domed noodle-noggined sapheaded lunk-knobbed BOYS....

The three of you are enough to drive a mara mad.’She can wear my shirt,” she growled in an imitation of Nash.”No,she can wear my shirt,”she said switching to Tod’s smoother tone.Then Sabine took off down the hall without a glance...

He held up his index finger. “Rule one: in any dispute between mates, themale is always to blame, even when he is clearly blameless. Rule two”—his middle finger joined thefirst—”whenever in doubt, refer to rule one....

You know you’re a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself....