Tag: humor

How did you find me? If you hacked into the Club’s computer to look up my appointments – ““Whoa, I think you overestimate me, shitlord. Last time I checked all I did was be in the wrong place at the right...

I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am....

Most photographers have some kind of verbal patter going on when they shoot: “Great. Turn to me. Big smile. Less shark eyes. Have fun with it. Not like that.” Some photographers are compulsively effusive. “Beautiful. Amazing. Gorgeous! Ugh, so gorgeous!” they...

It seemed Lady Luck hated me worse than usual....

This book will prove the following ten facts:1. A Goon is a being who melts into the foreground and sticks there.2. Pigs have wings, making them hard to catch.3. All power corrupts, but we need electricity.4. When an irresistible force meets...

Well, I’m about as tall as a shotgun, and just as noisy....

How’d you get to be so good at this?””I had a good teacher.””Better not have been Myrnin or I’ll have to kick his predatory ass.””I mean you, dummy.””Oh....

Don’t explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin....

Cam’s wings were so bright they were almost blinding as they pulsed. “Holy Hell,” Callie whispered, blinking.”More or less,” Arriane said...

Oh, man,” Xavier groaned. “See what you’ve done–now I’m stressing.””You can’t! You’re the stable one!”Xavier laughed and I realized his distress had been feigned to illustrate a point. He wasn’t worried in the slightest.”Just relax. Go and run a bath or...