Tag: humor

However, because they have no actual interests of their own (or if they do, they squelch them in order to fit in) and merely pursue those that they think will look best on their college apps, they’re zombies....

Madame Bellwings, Memoir Elf Coordinator, was not at all pleased with this request, because elves who write the memoirs of teenage girls have the habit of returning to the magical realm with atrocious grammar. They can’t seem to shake the phrases...

Let him treat you like a lady and open the car door for you. If he doesn’t automatically open the door for you, stand by the darn thing and don’t get into the vehicle until he realises he needs to get...

Heifer.”“Rich man’s whore!”“At least mine can cook the food he eats. And replaces it, too.”“Now see, Dee-Ann Smith. That was just mean!...

There must be a mistake,” I said. He adjusted his bag on his shoulder. “That’s a creative name. What do you shorten it to? Missy?...

You weren’t afraid of me when I was Wolf,” he said. “Why are you afraid of Nathan?””He’s got big feet!””What?”An insulted-sounding arrroooo came from the other side of the door, a reminder that Wolves also had big ears....

The kiss originated when the first male reptile licked the first female reptile, implying in a subtle way that she was as succulent as the small reptile he had for dinner the night before....

Well, thanks for not shooting anyone, I guess”, said Marcus. “My contribution was to somehow refrain from peeing myself. You can thank me later....

Personally, I like it much better when someone else does the decision making. That way you have legitimate grounds to whine and complain. I tend to find both whining and complaining quite interesting and amusing, though sometimes–unfortunately–it’s hard to choose which...

I see you’re a man with ideals. I better be going before you’ve still got them....