Tag: humor

I’m amazing and studly, but I have limits....

All I really wanted to do was cuddle back under the blankets, maybe with a certain stuffed toy penguin I knew. Yeah, hiding sounded good....

Somewhere, the zebra is dancing....

There’s a meeting in Command. Disregard your current schedule,’ he says. ‘Done,’ I say.’Did you follow it at all today?’ he asks in exasperation.’Who knows? I’m mentally disoriented.’ I hold up my wrist to show my medical bracelet and realize it’s...

Bad kitty!” he screeched, snarling and baring his fangs at Grimalkin, who yawned and turned away to groom his tail. “Evil, evil, sneaky kitty! Bite your head off in your sleep, I will! Hang you by your toes and set you...

I like pancakes....

Pulling the chair out for me, he invited me to sit. I stood there wondering if I could sprint for the nearest exit. Stupid strappy shoes, I’d never make it. He leaned in close and whispered in my ear, “I know...

Actually I don’t remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs....

I hate the vamp jobs. They think they’re so suave. It’s not enough for them to slaughter and eat you like a zombie would. No, they want to be all sexy, too. And trust me: vampires? Not. Sexy....

I think we’re too young to be dating. I mean I don’t see what the rush is.” Summer says. “Yeah, I agree,” said August. “Which is kind of a shame, you know what with all those babes who keep throwing themselves...