Tag: humor

Writing in English is the most ingenious torture ever devised for sins committed in previous lives. The English reading public explains the reason why....

Total non-retention has kept my education from being a burden to me....

Climate is what you expect, weather is what you get....

It’s difficult to see the glass ceiling because it’s made of glass. Virtually invisible. What we need is for more birds to fly above it and shit all over it, so we can see it properly....

Women intrinsically understand human dynamics, and that makes them unstoppable. Unfortunately, the average man is less adroit at fostering such rivalries, which is why most men remain average; males are better at hating things that can’t hate them back (e.g., lawnmowers,...

Everyone knows revenge is a dish best served when you’ve had enough time to build up enough vitriol and fury....

No man’s life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session....

Money isn’t everything…but it ranks right up there with oxygen....

Cheeses crusty, got all musty, got damp on the stone of a peach,” I agreed. He looked blank, so I repeated it with proper emphasis. “ ChEEZ-zes crusty. Got Al -musty. Got DAMp on the StoneofapeaCH....

If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?...