Tag: humor

You don’t need a search warrant to go through someone’s trash. Seriously. Once it hits the curb it is totally fair game-you an look it up....

But with dogs, we do have “bad dog.” Bad dog exists. “Bad dog! Bad dog! Stole a biscuit, bad dog!” The dog is saying, “Who are you to judge me? You human beings who’ve had genocide, war against people of different...

Librarians are the secret masters of the world. They control information. Don’t ever piss one off....

Music is crucial. Beyond no way can I overstress this fact. Let’s say you’re southbound on the interstate, cruising alone in the middle lane, listening to AM radio. Up alongside comes a tractor trailer of logs or concrete pipe, a tie-down...

Niall had been able to mask the odor of fairy from Eric in the restaurant, but I saw from the flare of Eric’s nostrils that the intoxicating scent clung to me. Eric’s eyes closed in ecstasy, and he actually licked his...

I have a great mind to believe in Christianity for the mere pleasure of fancying I may be damned....

I am your sire. I am to guide you through your first days as a vampire. Your first feeding is a rite of passage, a sacrament. It will not be wasted on some hormone-driven frenzy. This is why I wanted you...

She’ll be back,” Ranger said. “But not tonight.”[Stephanie] “How’d you get her to leave?””Told her I was gonna spend the next twelve hours ruining you for all other men, and so she might as well go home.”I could feel the heat...

How can a person deal with anxiety? You might try what one fellow did. He worried so much that he decided to hire someone to do his worrying for him. He found a man who agreed to be his hired worrier...

i told you he’d freak out, she siad. didn’t i?ah, the i told you so, jace said. always a classy move...