Tag: humor

George Bush isn’t Hitler. He could be if he applied himself....

There is a proverbial saying chiefly concerned with warning against too closely calculating the numerical value of un-hatched chicks....

We do need a system, and we do need you and your ‘Bertos, and sometimes we need Sam to just come along and kick some ass. – Quinn...

[Calvin and Hobbes are playing Scrabble.] Calvin: Ha! I’ve got a great word and it’s on a “Double word score” box! Hobbes: “ZQFMGB” isn’t a word! It doesn’t even have a vowel! Calvin: It is so a word! It’s a worm...

Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place....

So what else can I tell you?” I asked. “I mean, to get you to reveal Lily to me.”She triangled her fingers under her chin. “Let’s see. Are you a bed wetter?””Am I a…?””Bed wetter. I am asking if you are...

We need to remember what’s important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn’t matter, but work is third....

You know how to shoot?”- Emma”Yes. My dad taught me everything about gun safety. He was an expert.” – Heather”What happened to him?” -Shanna”He was…shot.” -Heather...

It was impossible to get the Dimitri and Tasha thing out of my head, but at least packing and getting ready made sure I didn’t devote 100 percent of my brain power to him. More like 95 percent....

Um,” Doc said in a mild voice, “medically speaking, I’m not sure that was the most helpful thing for his condition.””But I feel better,” Jared answered, sullen.Doc smiled the tiniest smile. “Well, maybe a few more minutes of unconsciousness won’t kill...