Tag: humor

This is a good place,” he said.”There’s a lot of liquor,” I agreed....

I don’t get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there’s no rehab for stupidity....

An elite confederacy of nerds. My peeps...

I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability....

Of course, it is quite possible to be in the dark in the dark, but there are so many secrets in the world that it is likely that you are always in the dark about one thing or another, whether you...

Yes, men are pigs. Except your brother, of course. He’s actually a decent human being. Almost a woman.-Jillian’s mother...

This emotion I’m feeling now, this is love, right?””I don’t know. Is it a longing? Is it a giddy stupid happiness just because you’re with me?””Yes,” she said.”That’s influenza,” said Miro. “Watch for nausea or diarrhea within a few hours....

Why hasn’t anyone killed him yet?”“Dumb luck,” Wit said. “In that I’m lucky you’re all so dumb....

Close your eyes and picture it. Can you see it?”I nod, eyes closed. its texture, shape, and color—got it?”I smile, holding the image in my head. its contours with the tips of your fingers, cradle its weight in the palms of...

His eyes widened just a bit, his lips flexed. I realized he was trying not to laugh. I hate it when people find my threats amusing....