Tag: humor

And Nate? You kiss like a slobbering dog, you have bad breath, and you wouldn’t know how to punch the right buttons on a girl if we came with manuals. Happy Thanksgiving, Jackass....

Well enough,” I reply. “Remember, you’re drunk. And happy. You’re supposed to be lusting over your escort. Try smiling a little more.” like I’m lusting? This is me, lusting.” His lashes flutter at me. better....

Any idiot can put up a website....

Okay, seriously, I dont know if this is true or not, but I heard people who use profanity are trying to compensate for their lack of you know… size” -Tuck...

He smiled at that, and then his gaze shifted to a spot over my shoulder and it faded. ‘These doubts wouldn’t have anything to do with the company you’re keeping of late, would they?’I didn’t get a chance to answer before...

Sometimes when it looks like I’m deep in thought I’m just trying not to have a conversation with people....

I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them....

He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches....

I’m a werewolf trapped in a human body.””Well, yeah, that’s kind of the definition.””No, really. I’m trapped.””Oh? When was the last time you shape-shifted?””That’s just it – I’ve never shape-shifted.””So you’re not really a werewolf.””Not yet. But I was meant to...

I really should come with a warning label....