Tag: humor

From now on, I’m not doing anything I don’t want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success…. I’m just here to cash in....

The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit....

I’m not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues....

There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who believe there are two kinds of people in this world and those who are smart enough to know better....

I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals, I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants....

Sissy Mae Smith…stumbled into the room loaded down with even more bags. “You pack like a woman,” she snarled when she finally dropped the luggage to the floor. “How can one man have so much conditioner?”His mouth filled with French toast,...

A few seconds after he stepped out into the hallway and closed the door behind him, there was a fleshly smack and then Andrew yelling, “Ouch. What in the hell was that for?” “Your timing sucks on an epic level,” Daemon...

I just rely on natural talent,” said Adrian, strolling up to the start of the Dragon’s Lair. “When you have such a wealth of it to draw from, the danger comes from having too much....

Most men don’t seem to get that telling a pissed-off woman to calm down is like throwing gunpowder on a fire.” ~ Liberty Jones...

No wonder kids grow up crazy. A cat’s cradle is nothing but a bunch of X’s between somebody’s hands, and little kids look and look and look at all those X’s . . .” “And?” “No damn cat, and no damn...