Want to know the secret to getting laid? It’s knowing how to talk dirty. And in this world of smartphones, Tinder, and sliding into DMs, talking dirty is something that increasingly happens over text. Master the art of sexy text messages, and you master the art of getting women/men into bed.

I’m not even kidding. A well-executed sext can be incredibly powerful if you get it right. Get it wrong, though, and you risk sounding cheesy, awkward, or just plain creepy.

To help you to get it right, the love experts at School of Squirt have compiled some incredibly naughty text messages you can use for inspiration. Trust me; these messages will make your partner so horny they’ll be breaking your bedroom door down to get to you.

Think of this as your go-to sexting handbook. You can thank us later.

The art of sending sexy text messages

Let’s start with some general guidelines on how and when to send those sexy messages for maximum effectiveness.

As I said, there’s a fine line between sounding sexy and sounding creepy/cheesy. Just follow the 6 golden rules below, and you’ll stay on the right side of that line.

Be natural

The golden rule is to keep it natural. Don’t text what you think you should be saying just to sound sexy. If you do that and you’re not comfortable with what you’re texting, it’ll show, and you’ll come across like you’re trying too hard.

You need to get in touch with your own sensuality first and build from there. If you’re genuinely turned on by the person you’re sexting, and you want to share that with them, it’ll sound natural. That horniness you’re feeling will be infectious. If you’re not turned on, you shouldn’t be sexting at all until you are.

Tell a story

Sexting is like writing a novel — you’ve got to tell a story and keep your reader hooked. This should be easy enough; just tell him/her what you plan on doing later (feel free to be as explicit as you like here). Here’s an example to illustrate:

“I was thinking about you earlier… and all the things I’m going to do to you tonight. I can’t wait to bend you over and dominate you. I’m going to start by tying you up and running my tongue over your body until you’re begging to have me inside you. Then I’m going to…”

You get the idea. You could send this as one long text or break it up into several short messages to keep her waiting for the next one. Also, feel free to be less explicit if you think a subtler approach would work better. Letting your partner fill in the gaps with their imagination can be a powerful tool.

It doesn’t have to be about what you’re going to do either. You could tell a story about what you already did last night, or even what you’re doing right now… I’ll let you come up with your own example for that one.

Know your audience

It’s super important to know your audience before you start sexting. For example, if you’re sexting a guy who’s kind of shy and reserved, jumping straight in with “I’m so horny, I can’t wait to feel your cum sliding down my throat” is probably not going to go down well.

He’ll either be sexually intimidated or plain freaked out, and that’s not what we want. We want him turned on, right?

So start slow. Ease into it and work him up to it. Move from polite to friendly to cheeky to naughty to sexy in that order. Don’t jump straight from polite to dirty — that’s a no-no.

On a related note, it also helps to know what kind of kinks the person you’re texting is into. For example, ladies, if you know you’re texting a Dom who is into BDSM stuff, acting submissive will get you bonus points.

Judge the mood

Make sure you judge the mood before you start sending sexy messages. If the person you’re texting has just been telling you about how they’ve had to take their dog to the vet for an operation, and you’re like “cool, wanna fuck?”, it’s not going to go down well.

You’ll sound like a jerk and probably put that person off forever. On the other hand, if they’ve just texted you saying they’re bored, then they might be in the right mood for a little ‘entertainment’ if you catch my drift.

It’s almost never going to be a good idea to send explicit texts to a person you haven’t already built up at least some kind of relationship with either. You don’t necessarily need to be dating, but at least wait until you’ve flirted a little and know they’re into you before you start sexting.

Test the waters first

Imagine this: you send a dirty text message saying that you’re feeling horny, and the person you’ve texted replies with, “Umm, what? Awkward…”. Ouch. Not good.

Nobody wants that awkward, cringe-worthy situation to play out, which is why you’ve got to ease into it. You don’t just jump straight into sexting right off the bat. You’ve got to flirt a little first and test the waters before you text anything too sexy.

How do you do that, you ask? Well, that’s exactly what we’re going to be talking about next.

How to initiate sexting

Starting a sexy text conversation can feel awkward, but it doesn’t have to. There are plenty of ways to initiate sexting and get the ball rolling without risking embarrassment. The key is to be subtle at first and to leave yourself an ‘out.’

I’m going to show you two great methods of doing this. The first is what I like to call the innocent text method. The idea here is to plant a sexy idea in their head without making your intentions too apparent while you test the waters.

For example, you can start out with an innocent but suggestive question to see if they’re receptive. For example, something like “guess what I’m wearing right now?” might work.

If they respond with something flirty like “nothing? ;)” you can take that as a sign they’re going to be up for this.

However, if they respond with something like “umm, I don’t know?” then they’re probably not going to be into it. And that’s okay because you can back out gracefully with an innocent follow-up text, like “that jacket I bought when we were shopping last week.”

You can also do what I like to call the half-joking text method, which is to say something a little naughty but tongue-in-cheek. That way, if it doesn’t go down well, you have an easy escape route — you just say you were messing around.

Here’s an example:

You: “Ok, so real talk. What’s your weird fetish? Vampires? Dominatrix stuff? I have you down as a vampire person for some reason :P.”

If she/he responds honestly, you can easily turn that into an opportunity to start sexting. If they’re weirded out, you can be like, “LOL jk, I’m just messing with you.”

See how that works?

Sexy texts to kick things off with

Now that we’re on the same page let’s look at some subtle sexy text message examples that you can use to kick things off.

Below are some cheeky, flirty, and funny texts that are great for initiating sexting. They’re also suitable if you’re just at the start of your relationship, and you don’t want to get too hot and heavy too fast.

• “I’m sooooo bored right now. Entertain me ;)”
• “I’m typing with one hand because my other one is a bit busy…”
• “I had a VERY wild dream last night… you were in it…”
• “Whatcha doing? I’m lying in bed and I’m bored. Wanna play a game of Simon Says?”
• “I’m so cold right now, I should probably put on some clothes…”
• “What’s your favorite sex position? Asking for a friend…”
• “Did I tell you what I’ve named my junk?”
• “Question: what part of my body is your favorite?”
• “Why do I feel so frisky right now? Omg…”
• “If we were together right now, what would we be doing?”

Sexy messages to create anticipation

The sexy messages below can help you to build sexual tension pre-date to get your sext-buddy in the mood.

• “Woops, I forgot to put underwear on for our date. Oh well… ;)”
• “I’ve planned something special for you later… I think you’ll enjoy it”
• “I want you so bad. I can’t believe I have to wait until tonight. Maybe we should just skip dinner altogether and head to my place ;)”
• “So about tonight… is it going to be as good as I imagine? Because I’ve got a pretty filthy imagination…”
• “I can’t wait for tonight… I’m getting worked up just thinking about it.”
• “So… any ideas for what we should do after dinner tonight? I have some thoughts ;)”
• “I want it so bad I can’t stand it. You know what I’m talking about…”
• “Did I tell you about my new vibrator? I can wear it underneath my panties. Just sayin’…”
• “Don’t wear anything too nice tonight because I’m planning on ripping it off you later.”
• “I feel like such a dirty slut right now. I can’t wait for later…”

Naughty texts for the morning after

Alright, we’ve talked about texts for the night before. Now, let’s look at texts for the morning after.

Here are 10 sexy text messages to send the next day when you want to remind your partner how amazing the sex was, keep them thinking about you, or convince them you should do it again.

• “Last night was fun, I can still taste you…”
• “I know we’ve only done it once, but I already think I’m addicted to your dick”
• “I was thinking about you while I took a shower this morning and I got excited all over again. Too bad my hands aren’t nearly as good as the real thing”
• “Come over again tonight. I’m not done with you yet…”
• “If you thought last night was good, wait for next time. We’re only just getting started ;)”
• “Your mine now. I know you’ll be coming back for more. You NEED my dick inside you again. Ask nicely and maybe I’ll give it to you ;)”
• “I think I left my panties at your house. You can keep them ;)”
• “My body’s still sore from last night. Omg, it was so good. Let’s do it again?”
• “Remember when you *describe hot sex scene from previous time*? I’m thinking about it right now…”
• “What was your favorite part about last night? You tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine ;)”

Filthy & explicit text messages

If you thought the sexy text messages we’ve looked at so far were dirty, think again. This next batch makes everything so far look positively tame. They’re bold, raw, direct, and not-at-all subtle. They’re the kind of sexts you send when both of you are jacking off right there and then.

We’ve separated them into texts for him and her to make it easier to sort through.

Ready? Good. Here are 20 downright filthy text messages for when you want to REALLY turn the heat up.

Caution: this is about to get explicit. It’s definitely NSFW from here on out.

For her

• “You enjoy my big dick fucking you from behind, don’t you? Tell me how much you want it…”
• “I miss seeing you *describe what position you like to see her in best*”
• “Do you like to roleplay, baby? Because I have a pair of handcuffs that I’m itching to try out with you right here. I wanna be the bad cop. Sound fun?”
• “I’m gonna make you squirt all over my cock, over and over.”
• “Call your boss and tell them you can’t make it into work tomorrow. You’re going to need the day to recover after what I’m gonna do to you tonight.”
• “Go get your vibrator ;)”
• “I can’t wait to pick you up, throw you over the kitchen counter, and eat you out until you’re dripping wet and begging to have me inside you. After that, I’m going to pin you up against the kitchen wall and ram you so hard your legs will shake”
• “I want to spread your legs wide and then slowly kiss all the way down your inner thighs. Then… *proceed to describe imagined oral sex*”
• “I’m at work right now but I can’t concentrate. All I can think about is you bent over my desk with your panties around your ankles.”
• “Wanna know what I’m thinking about right now? *follow up with a description of the sexy scene you’re imagining*”

For him

• “I love it when you *explain the kind of sex act that turns you on the most*”
• “I wanna be your dirty little slut. You can use me in any way you want to. I was made to please you.”
• “Mmmmm I’m so wet right now. I’m just imagining your big hard dick inside me…”
• “What do you wanna do to me right now? Please tell me, in LOTS of detail…”
• “I want you to grab my hair and push me up against a couch or something. I like it when you take control.”
• “Do you like it when I’m in control baby? Because I do. Next time, I wanna call the shots. I’m going to make you do all kinds of wild things to me.”
• “I’m going to worship your cock suck every last drop of cum out of you tonight.”
• “Where do you want to finish? My chest, face, or ass? I’m up for anything ;)”
• “I love playing with myself while talking to you. Wanna know what I’m doing right now? I’m *describe what you’re doing and thinking about*”
• “I want to feel your breath on my neck while you’re inside me and I’m squirting on your cock.”

Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me? That should be enough explicit text ideas for you to be getting on with, so let’s move on!

Sexy text messages to spice up your relationship

The sexy text messages we’ve looked at so far are great for people in the passionate early stages of a relationship. Next, we’re going to look at some sexy messages to help spice up things in the bedroom with your already long-term partner.

If things have gone a little stale in the bedroom, the dirty sexts below could be the perfect antidote. They’re perfect for reigniting some lust and injecting new passion into your marriage or long-term relationship.

• “Remember that time when we *insert hottest ever sex you’ve had with your partner*? I wanna do that again sometime…”
• “I hate being stuck here in work when I could be at home doing filthy things with you”
• “Congratulations! You’ve won a free coupon. Redeem this for any sex act of your choosing later tonight ;)”
• “Anal or oral? You get to choose tonight ;)”
• “I just read a wild article on this sex site… it’s given me some awesome ideas for later!”
• “Hey baby, what’s the wildest fantasy you’ve ever had? You tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine.” When they respond, follow up with something like “Mmmm sounds fun… Let’s try it out later! ;)”
• “I’m curious about something… do you think you’d be mad if you found out I’d kissed another girl while we were dating?”
• “What do you think about these sex positions?”
• “If I said I wanted to try *insert fantasy / kink / new sex position here*, what would you say?”
• “I’ve bought you a present that I think you’re going to like. BUT I get to have the remote tomorrow ;)” *buy her a remote control vibrator*

Romantic text messages

So far, all the sexy texts we’ve looked at have been designed to ignite some raw sexual passion. But what if the goal isn’t to get laid? What if the goal is to create intimacy between you and your partner?

Well, that calls for a different tact.

Here are 10 romantic, sexy text messages for when you’re in the mood to ‘make love’, rather than ‘fuck’.

• “Hey baby, I can’t sleep tonight. All I can think about is how much I miss you and what we’d be doing if you were here with me”
• “I love you so much I just want to give all of myself to you. I’ve never felt this way with anyone before”
• “When you kiss me, it feels like an electric current runs through my body. Is that normal?”
• “I’ve been thinking about you all day. Your eyes, your lips, your body…”
• “Sex is different with you. When we make love, it just feels right. I’ve not stopped thinking about how amazing last night was.”
• “When you put your hands on me, I feel like I’m on another planet”
• “I just saw a picture of you on my phone and my heart started racing. I can’t wait to see you later”
• “Hey, what’s your favorite thing about me? Mine is your eyes, they’re stunning — especially when you look up at me when we’re having our alone time ;)”
• “That dress you wore last night. I can’t get it out of my head. You just looked so stunning. Still, I think it might look better on my bedroom floor… ;)”
• “I love the way you whisper my name when we’re in bed together. I’d listen to it all day if I could.”

What about picture messages?

Thanks to modern technology, sexy messages don’t have to only include text — you can throw in a picture or two too if you’re feeling really naughty. Picture messages are probably the sexiest of all as they appeal to our basic animalistic instincts.

However, a word of caution is needed here: do NOT do this unless you completely trust the person you’re sending them to, and you’re fully comfortable with it. Once you send a picture of yourself, you never know where it’ll end up, so you need to be careful. Picture messages are best reserved for long-term partners or spouses, if at all.

That being said, if you want to do it, here are a couple of tips on how to make it as sexy as possible.

Leave something to the imagination

Guys, dick pics are boring. Don’t be that guy who sends a close up of his shaft with no context. Get more creative and be subtle about it, and I guarantee she’ll appreciate it so much more.

For example, why not take a full-body pic in the mirror naked but cover up your junk with your hand? That way, you’re leaving something to the imagination. She’ll have to ask if she wants you to move those hands away, and that creates the sexual anticipation you’re aiming for.

Same goes for you, ladies. Rather than send a fully-nude pic, why not put a blanket over your chest and let him get a glimpse of what he’s missing underneath? Or maybe strike a pose in the bath, making sure that the bubbles cover up just enough so that he wants to dive in to get a better look.

Face expressions are everything

Your facial expression makes all the difference when it comes to sending sexy picture messages. Here are some hot face expressions you might want to try:

• Bite your bottom lip cheekily
• Smolder and look surly (for guys)
• Pull your tongue out
• Make your sex face (whatever that may be. For example, eyes rolling upwards, mouth open, tongue out, etc.)

Ready to get started?

Congratulations, you’re now a sexting expert. All that’s left to do now is get on Tinder and try some of these ideas out for yourself!

Have fun!

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